Love
A good family loves each other unconditionally.
No love isn’t perfect and this doesn’t mean you will always get along, but at the end of the day, what matters is that you love each other and will do anything for each other.
The love you demonstrate with your partner and your children will dictate how your children behave with each other and their future families.
Boundaries
When you are building your family, you need to set rules and expectations for everyone.
These rules need to be fair to everyone.
When setting rules, make sure they are reasonable and fitting to the age and abilities of each child. Set fair consequences that like the rules are fitting by the age and capabilities of each person.
Some of my favorite parenting resources are Boundaries With Kids, which will help you set strong boundaries from a Christian perspective, and Parenting With Love and Logic, which teaches how to use natural consequences to discipline your children.
Respect
Respect, both for the parents and for the children, is vital to a healthy family relationship.
While we often feel that respect should be given to elders and that young people should earn it, this can lead to disrespect on both sides.
When you show respect for your child from the start, they are more likely to behave in a way deserving of that respect and to give you respect in return.
A good family has a balanced and mutual respect between its members.
Guidance
It is your job as the parents to provide guidance for your children to help them grow and thrive.
As your children grow older, they will begin to offer guidance to younger siblings that look up to them. Your home becomes the place that your family can feel safe enough to go when they need a push in the right direction.
When providing guidance for your child, avoid nagging or using guilt or shame to force your child to follow your guidance.
Instead, offer guidance and support and offer a listening ear and empathy when your child decides to learn the hard way (and they will, as this is part of their personal growth).
This is such a great lesson that every child needs to learn, and they’re in a better position to learn while they’re younger.
Check out Parenting With Love and Logic for examples and techniques to show your child guidance through tough lessons.
Communication
Without communication, families can not grow and thrive.
Spending time with your family to work on effective communication skills and taking the time to talk to your child about things that may not be the most comfortable can do a long way in helping build a strong and resilient family.
Trust
Trust is vital to a healthy family dynamic. Teach your child to be worthy of your trust and that trustworthiness is one of the most valuable traits they can have.
Showing others that you can be trusted and learning to trust your family members is essential to having a good family dynamic.
Support
Good families support each other through thick and thin. This can range from simply giving a hand up when one person falls on hard times or as simple as showing up to cheer each other on for big events and such.
When each member of the family feels supported, they are more likely to be willing to support everyone else.